97lbs of Self Discovery

As I sit here today and reflect over the last 8 months I had no idea who I would find by loosing 97lbs....I will say that I still see that fat girl when I look in the mirror but if I catch a reflection of myself in a window or see my shadow I am totally blown away with who I see.  I was so miserable, so depressed, so angry with who I was...who I had become.  I spent most of the last 10 years faking it the best I could...putting on a happy face, making people laugh...trying to hide my misery.  I saw this picture of myself from a girls weekend away with my Taunties and Couzans in July and I cried harder than I've ever cried in my life...because I had no idea who I was looking at...Where did I go?  The person I was looking at looks like she ate me or was wearing my skin all stretched out like that guy from Silence of the Lambs....What the hell had I done to myself!

...but at that point I knew that I had to make a change, that I couldn't live like that anymore...I didn't want to be FAT & FORTY! When I started this journey all I wanted to do was shed the weight...I thought that was going to make me happy.  I started with exercise videos at home....wanting to spare the general public the site of a very large woman exercising and trying to get her fit on.  I completely changed my eating habits, stopped drinking my beloved wine, cut out sugar and processed foods and I quickly saw results.  I lost almost 20pds in less than a month.  By December I was down 65pds and my sweet friends J and Legs encouraged me to sign up for Boot Camp Maintenance with Allie @ Project Fit....so on December 6th I started Boot Camp Maintenance and on March 18th it was over...I never missed a day.  I lost 22 pds during Boot Camp Maintenance....it's what I discovered about myself that is more important than the weight loss-although I don't believe I would have had this self discovery without the weight loss....I discovered that I could accomplish whatever I set out to do...I discovered that I am goal oriented....I have discovered that I truly enjoy being pushed beyond what I thought I could do....I have to say that I have never been very good at depending on others for help...because I have been let down so often....but with an 87pd weight loss...I kicked the shit out of a few walls that I put up- With the help of J, Legs, Poppy, The Bunny, Hardcore Chic and Mr. Hardcore Chic Magnet, Mr. Shiny, Waterboy, Diane and of course Allie!!!  Allie has created a place that people feel connected to one another...support one another and cheer each other on....I have NEVER experienced this at a GYM..EVER!!!!

On May 20th I started Couch25K with KitKat, Landry, Oldest, Youngest, Kelbell and Landry2!  We inspired a group of others to start the program too....who knew!

May 13th I finished my first Boot Camp with Allie, Jo-Twhat nightmares are made of, Super Dave and Mr. Shiny....I improved in every area of our assessments!! I ran a mile in 10 minutes without having a heart attack or crying...although I totally have exercise turrets...sorry for all that witnessed that over the last 6 wks! I lost 10pds during this Boot Camp but again it's not the losses that I am excited about...it's that I was pushed harder than I have ever been pushed and I did it....I completed it and I gave it 100%!!!
I will forever be dedicated to Allie for helping me discover this person I didn't think even existed....without Allie I am not sure I would have.  I am more grateful to her than she will ever know!

McHusband, Oldest and Youngest are so supportive and we have grown stronger as a family....I am no longer sitting on the sideline watching my people live and love life...I am living life with them, although they can't keep up with me now!!! It really is true...when Mamma's happy...everybody is happy and Mamma is so freaking happy!

I have discovered that I can't be bothered with being angry and sad when people disappoint me...I have to just move on....I can't dwell on what has happened....I just have to pick myself up...dust myself off and go for a spin or a run...or call one of my Foxhole Friends! 

Thank you Foxhole Friends for running through this journey of Self Discovery with me....I am far from complete....  and I can't wait to see what's next!

Boot Camp is on!

Today was the first day of Boot Camp...it was assessment day.  We had to run a mile in 12 minutes or less....I completed this mile in 11:59.  I have no where but up to go from here!  This is the email that we all got from Allie today.  She has been key in my loosing weight....her smile, her encouragement has made me push through the pain and work as hard as I possibly can.  My attitude sucked when I first started training with Allie...and I am that person in class that looks at Allie like "You've got to be freaking kidding me!"...but I do it...I do what she tells me to do and I am becoming a better, fitter me because of it.  She ended this email with...Wear Old Clothes-Effing awesome....I see wet and sandy in my future.....I want to be Hot&Hungry..not Fat&Forty...didn't think Wet&Sandy was going to happen....until after the Hot&Hungry...Afraid...I am very, very afraid!

Had two friend that I recruited to boot camp break up with me today.....I have a feeling they will want me back in 6wks!


Dear Recruits,


Congratulations! You made it through Day One of Allie's Boot Camp. It was certainly uplifting to see so many people out there this morning. We can handle the high number of recruits. The question is, can you handle us???

From past experience, we know that the numbers tend to fade as the muscles begin to ache, the fatigue sets in, and the egos become bruised. We encourage you to stick with it. Change your mindset when times get tough! Refuse to be discouraged! We can handle the high numbers! The question is, can you handle us!? The answer should be "Yes! Bring it on!"


Recruits, today was your easiest day. The down time you experienced during the assessment will not happen from here on out. Now that we have a record of your fitness levels, the game is on! If you truly want to improve your life, then make a commitment today to finish this journey you have started. Our program has what it takes to make you a better person in some capacity--physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.



Attitude


"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.


The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our Attitudes."

"Tough Times Don't Last! Only Tough People!"


"Comfort Zone! Failure Zone!"

THE BEACH IS BACK

March 18th I completed a 14 week commitment to BootCamp Maintenance at Project Fit with Allie....I set a goal for myself to loose 17 pounds....I met and beat my goal by 3.5 pounds!!!! On April 4th we start our BEACH IS BACK BOOTCAMP....I am leaps and bounds stronger than I was December 6th when I started...but Holy Bootcamp am  I scared....lucky for me this will be at 5:15am and it will be dark. 

Last week: I stared the Couch to 5K program with Oldest, two of her friends and their mothers....we are 1/2 way through our 2nd week and I can't imagine being able to run a 5K at the end of the 9th week.  I have set a goal for myself to run a 1/2 marathon with my friend Poppy Cock....not really sure what I was thinking....but it's crazy how goal oriented I have become.  There has been so much going on with getting my fitness on that I have neglected my little Snarky Corner. I promise to do better!

Bottom Feeders

This will be short and sweet...I will try to not be too much of an asshat!  As I swim in the murky waters of Facebook...I have already been nibbled on by a few bottom feeders and I have to say, I am quite proud of myself for not crushing them to death.  Yay me!!!! Keeping up with my People has been fun...seeing their pictures, hearing little stories...just saying hey is all pretty cool.

 Oldest is really wanting a Facebook page....what to do, what to do.....she is such a great kid and makes really good choices.....it's not her that I worry about...it is the Young Bottom Feeders that I worry about...the ones that are hungry to bite at her.  This is my dilemma right now.

Oh...the pressure was too much!

Well...I drank the kool aid....I am swimming in the murky water that is FACEBOOK.  I caved to the peer pressure from all the cool kids....I am not quite sure I understand what all the hype is about, yet.  My very smart, super savvy Sister created my FACEBOOK page and made sure I was super secure and almost invisible...unless I deem you a suitable "friend".  So, is it a good thing for me to have this much power?  Probably not...but I do so muhaahhhaaaaaa!  But then there is the rejection factor...what if I send someone a friend request and they don't except me....like for example: I have sent my once favorite aunt VKB a friend request....like 6 times...and still she has not accepted my request.  WTF?  Someone with such a large ego heart like myself finds this sort of rejection very displeasing...just sayin' ya'll!

I drank the Kool-Aid

Well....I am drinking the kool-aid....that is the IPhone.  McHusband had no cell service with Sprint where he is now working and was able to get out of his contract with Sprint......and so we have made the switch and we are now an IPhone Family.....what's next???? Facebook?  Yikes!  I've pretty much held out until everyone I know has overdosed or gone to Facebook rehab....so do I do it? Do I drink that cup of Kool-Aid, that is Facebook?  The peer pressure that I am experiencing from my friend RockStar is almost more than I can bare....especially when she pulls up Facebook pages of other friends and there I am posted all over their Facebook pages...what's a girl to do?

My Goals for 2011

I thought it would be hard for me to think of 11 Goals for 2011....but once I started....I found it hard to stop!!! These are my first 11.


1.  Loose 50 pds

2.  Finish Winter Boot Camp Maintance

3.  Start and Finish Boot Camp....both Spring and Summer...(what can I say, I am addicted to Alli's abuse.)


4.  Wear a bathing suit in April while we are on Vacation in Hawaii...without having to worry about someone yelling "Beached Whale...Beached Whale...someone call PETA!"

5.  Ride a rollercoaster with Oldest....without the fear of me or Oldest falling out and dying tragically because of my fat arse!

6.  Water Ski....I was the shit...once apon a time!

7.  Take a trip with McHusband...just the two of us....haven't done that since BC(before children).

8.  Sail as a crew member on Mr. Blue Eyes boat for the Harvest Moon Regatta with my Mom and Mrs. Blue Eyes.

9.  Go Hunting with McHusband and shoot a deer before Oldest does....because I'm a biotch like that!
     
10.  Journal everyday.....food, thoughts...everything!

11.  Be Happy with the Girl in the Mirror...and Dance like there is no tomorrow!