She Shines so Bright!!!!!

Yesterday Oldest's school held their Awards Program...Oldest got this Award for having all A's for the YEAR in these subjects. Oldest missed Banner Roll for the entire year by one freaking B....she was very disappointed in herself....my little over achiever!

I got a call today from a parent and it started so sweet...."Oldest looked just absolutely beautiful yesterday." And I was all "Awww, thanks...that is so sweet of you to call!" and then she said "I had no idea she was that smart, I mean my jaw hit the floor when I heard how many of her subjects she got A's in all year."

And there it is......I had to pick my jaw up off the floor....I had a very stabby feeling when I got off the phone.

Texas size Asshat!

This past weekend Cooney and I brought Oldest, Youngest, and their best friends to Clear Lake...Oldest and her best friend are doing Sailing Camp at LYC and they had to do their swim test and boat check in. I love going home to TEXAS, love spending time with my sister, mom, and all my friends. When I get ready to leave....I always get sad and pouty..sometimes I even throw little fits and I always cry when I go over the Baytown Bridge....

This past weekend some TEXAS size Asshat flew out of the Krogers parking lot and ran a red light...I had to slam on my brakes and get in the inside lane to avoid hitting him. When we passed him Cooney looked at him with her hands out...saying "What the hell..." Then the Douchebag got behind me and was riding my ass...this is on Hwy 146, it is hella busy on the weekends and the traffic was thick. The Douche Canoe then got in the center lane to turn and when I looked at him and said with my hands up..."Really?" He sped up and cut me off, jumped out of his truck and punched the window of my Suburban...barking and spitting like a rabid dog.

As luck would have it...there just so happened to be a TEXAS GAME WARDEN and a Seabrook Police Officer behind us(what are the odds, right!)...They witnessed all of this ROAD RAGE AND VIOLENT BEHAVIOR.....he directed Mr. Asshat back to his vehicle, got his statement....while the Police Officer talked to me......Youngest is in the backseat with her lil friend...and she is FREAKING out, I mean shaking, crying and nauseous..... The officer asked the standard questions and then asked us to move into the AutoZone parking lot, he was so sweet..he told Youngest that everything was going to be okay and he was there to protect her.

Mr. ASSHAT said that I flipped him off-which was a lie...I mean I totally flipped him off in my head and I did call him a DOUCHEBAG...but flip him off I did not. The Police Officer asked me what I wanted to see happen and I said I just wanted them to hold him long enough for me to get out of town, it was late and I needed to get the kids home....What I wanted to say was..."Could you tell The Douchebag that I would like it if he moved back to his homeland of Douchebagistan...that is what I would like to see happen!"

Now.....I have a theory about Mr. Asshat....my theory is:

Mrs. Asshat, who is busy with their daughter's swim team meet this weekend, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, getting ready for a busy week with the kids...asks Mr. Asshat if he could please run to the store and grab a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread for HIS children.....Mr. Asshat is busy watching a race, or is tired from fishing or golfing and really just wants to sit in his Lazy-Boy and relax...Mrs. Asshat has HAD it and she keeps nagging him until he finally does it. He storms off, grabs the keys to Mrs. Asshats White Ford Expedition EL and halls ASS to Krogers....where he slams the door and curses Mrs. Asshat the whole time he is inside the store...he is rude to the cashier...slams the door when he gets back in Mrs. Asshat's White Expedition EL and burns rubber out of the parking lot, runs the red light and comes face to face with this FATWICKEDBITCH....and it was more than he could handle and he looses his shit.....I just hope Mrs. Asshat is okay.

Pray for you! Jaron and the Long Road to Love

My friend S has been telling me about this Artist and this song....I'm Wicked, ya'll...and had to share with you. I love, love, love this song...made me laugh....and I needed a good laugh this week. Enjoy!!!!

I FAIL!!!!

***Disclaimer***** there will be lots of foul language in this post....read at your own risk

As a working mom....I fucking fail miserably and I fucking hate the month of May!!!! I will start by telling you that I LOVE my job, love what I do....but I fucking hate letting my kid down, I hate that my kid actually thought that I was not going to be there for her Field trip...when the note that we got clearly stated that the movie was starting at 10 AM but they started it almost 30 minutes early, and I get there to find Youngest sitting in the dark....crying because she thought I wasn't coming...I let her down!!!!! I fucking wanted to stab myself!!!

When I was a stay-at-home mom...I was ALWAYS there for my girls...they never had to worry if I was going to be there or not. I was at EVERY school party, volunteered to Chaperon EVERY Field Trip, picked them up from school EVERY day, volunteered to work EVERY School Fundraiser, Room Mother, Room Mother Coordinator, and taught CCD at Church. Now I have a JOB and I am that Mother that has to get friends to pick up the Girls from school, friends to go to class parties, friends to do all the things that I want to fucking do!!!! I hate that Youngest really thought that I just wasn't coming.....I know what that feeling is like.....that feeling that "Everyone Else's mom is here except for MINE!" and I am here to tell you that there is nothing worse than that feeling....and that Youngest felt it for just a second.... it fucking killed me.

I came back to the office crying my eyes out because I have all this guilt inside of me...the guilt that I am taking advantage of my Boss, of my friend....that I have had to take so much time off be it for a Hysterectomy, a sick kid(youngest's week long stay in the hospital last November), Orthodontist Appointments, Beta Convention, Teacher Appreciation, Doctor Appointments, Field Trips, etc....I feel like my JOB is less important than McHusbands, I feel like I have a JOB but I am also responsible for the girls and their birthday parties, tumbling, cheer practice, games, fundraisers, doctor's appointments, dentist appointments, orthodontist appointments....cleaning the house, doing ALL the laundry....and I am feeling stabby and bitter....

Being a working mother is so fucking hard....maybe it would suck less if my girls were a pain in the ass, if I didn't like them so freaking much...but I do, I really do like them and want to be with them ALL the time, I don't want to miss A THING.....

I hate asking for help, hate feeling like I am taking advantage of my friends, hate that I feel like I am failing as a parent....this feeling SUCKS MAJOR ASS!!!!

May is kicking April's Ass!

I thought that I would never make it through April...with Birthday Palooza and all.....once again I am wondering if I will make it through May. When I open my calendar and see all that has to be done, I can't help but get a little twitchy and we are only one week in. It was Teacher Appreciation at Youngest's school this week, Tuesday both girls had an Orthodontist Appointment, Wednesday my Underwriter was in from Home Office, Thursday and Friday was spent in Lafayette for Beta Convention with 12,000 junior high students, Saturday was my lil cousin's Birthday party, followed by McHusband and Hot Cousin hosting a Crawfish Boil for their Mothers for Mother's Day, which meant...I had to speed clean the house and put on my Hostess pants, when all I really wanted to do was put on my comfy pants and get in my bed and wish the world away, but NOOOOOOO.

Next week is the Teacher Appreciation Luncheon for Oldest's school and I have found myself on this committee with a virtually non existent budget.....Thank God for Josh Roger's owner of OB's Bar and Grill...who has graciously agreed once again to supply a Fabulous meal for our Teachers. Monday is Youngest's Field Trip, Friday is Relay for Life, which I am a Team Captain with my friend G, then Saturday Youngest and I are off to H-Town for her first Doctor's appointment with a Pediatric Neurologist. The following weekend we will have to go back to Clear Lake for Oldest to take her test and rig out her boat for Sailing Camp....all the while trying to hold down a job, cleaning the house, doing ALL the laundry for 4, and cooking.

Today is Mother's Day and I got up at 7am with the Dog...let him out to go potty, fed him and started a load of laundry.....McHusband is sleeping in on this special day...I am feeling a bit stabby right now and as soon as he gets out of bed I am going to put myself in timeout...going to hold up in my room-that is if he ever gets out of bed..

Bitches with Brushes

Some of the Staff at Oldest's school organized a Painting Party. I volunteer in the office once a week and they were sweet enough to include some of us moms...one of the ladies has a Very Talented Artist for a Son and agreed to be our instructor, the theme was Fleur De Lis (of course). "A" drew the Fleur De Lis' on the canvas and we painted. S's painting was exactly like her...it was OVER THE TOP FABULOUS, J's was ...DARK & WILD...just like her. Cooney's was much like her...CONSERVATIVE & RESERVED. I am not sure about mine, not really sure what it says about me...if in fact it says anything about me...but I will tell you this much..I enjoyed the process of painting it, the exploration of colors, the combination of colors, and the depth that each stroke added to it. I could easily become addicted to painting......

Friday night M & L, Cooney & Hot Cousin, Me & McHusband played Taboo and Things. I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time! Girls kicked the guys arses and that made it even better!

It's not very often that our house isn't full of giggling, screaming girls...but this weekend Oldest and Youngest were both out of town. It was nice to have some "adult" time. Oldest went to my sister's for a little one on one time and Youngest went with one of her BFF's to a Dance Competition...both in H'Town. I miss them both terribly and I can't wait for them to get home and hear all about their weekend in the BIG CITY of Houston.