Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Goose Bumpy Feeling......and smiles!!!




A blog that I follow got me thinking about this song.....Lindsay raised a question about falling in love with a song....having an infatuation that is not your spouse...and I totally do that, you know fall in love with a song...I court it and I am devoted to it forever....my new crush is "Hey Soul Sister"....it makes me smiley and happy every time I hear it....

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Jesse...you are a dirty boy!



You used to be dirty hot...now you are just dirty!!!! You were that super hot bad boy.....now you are just bad!!!! Was it the pressure of being married to Sandy(who, we all know is just the most perfect woman..EVER!) that drove you to have sexy time with those Skanky dirty girls....I had to shower after just looking at them....aren't you worried about your boy parts? This last skank is the last straw!!!!! There is no telling what all she has placed in her lady parts and can we talk about her name?!?! Skittles? Really Jesse? Skittles? Shame, shame, shame on you.

Jesse...you need a spanking...and not in the sexy time spanking kind of way!

Friday, March 19, 2010

FAT WICKED BITCH

When I first entertained the idea of starting a blog, I polled all of my(and there are many) incredible, smart, beautiful, funny, snarky, creative, loyal friends to give me some suggestions. When I finally created My Snarky Corner...it only seemed right because I am the definition of "Snark". However the other day some LOVELY registered me to a few porn websites....and my user name is "FAT WICKED BITCH".....how freaking clever is that?!?!?!?! I have to tell you, when I opened the first email from pichunter.com and saw my user name and password....I LAUGHED SO HARD AND SO LOUD, I am shocked that my work neighbor didn't come in to check on me....I then said out loud "Well played.....well played!" So now I am thinking that maybe I need to change the name of my Blog to FATWICKEDBITCH(even though the Lovely that signed me up for this porn site misspelled Bitch-bictch?)

I have copyrighted FATWICKEDBITCH...can't you just see it on a Vintage T(plus size of course), bumper stickers, coffee mugs, beach towels(scratch that, beach blanket...you know for the FAT GIRL.....bath products(but only in large VALUE sizes.. for the BIG GIRLS)......Power to all the FWB's in the world.

I raise my BIG BUBBA CUP up to Lovely...I wish her success in all she does.....I think she should write a How To Book...on seeking revenge against the people that have pissed you off....because registering people I don't like to Porn Sites has never even occurred to this FATWICKEDBITCH....

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

A picture is worth a THOUSAND words




McHusband emailed this picture to me today.....and it's true A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words!!!

Crash Landing was the inspiration to My Snarky Corner....and you know what they say..."Karma is a BITCH!!!"

Saturday, March 13, 2010

My Cup runneth over with PRIDE


This picture is what my view of Cheerleader's have always been....when I think of Cheerleading, I think of Channelview Texas...crazy Cheerleader Mom and mean girls that think they are better than everyone else. I sure never thought that one of my girls would ever want to be a Cheerleader......fast forward.

This past week Oldest has practiced like nothing I have ever seen, about 20 or so other girls went to practice for hours everyday....they were dedicated, driven and supportive of one another. Oldest cried the entire way home Thursday night...because she didn't feel confident in "throwing" her backhand spring at tryouts.....she cried the entire time she took a bath, she went to bed with out eating dinner for the second time this week because of her nerves. Friday morning she woke up fragile....and she lost it...I mean lock yourself in the bathroom and cry from your toenails lost it. Once she got herself together..she said she was going to do her best but if she didn't make it..she was going to be fine...she was just so worried that if she didn't make it that EVERYONE, especially her Tumble coach would be disappointed in her! As if!!!!

Friday night the results were posted on the school website. Oldest checked the site, she came in the living room and she told me that her best friend didn't make the Squad, that she was really worried about her...cause "S" really wanted this(as if she didn't). I asked her if SHE made the squad.....she said "No, I didn't make it....yes I am disappointed but I will be fine..maybe next year." She proceeds to tell me who all made the squad and that she called them to congratulate them. Everyday this kid amazes me....to be able to pick up the phone and call these girls and congratulate them...what grace this kid has! I know I would have been BITTER as hell and I surely wouldn't have been able to go to go spend the night with two of the girls that made the Squad and go to Tumble on Sunday with these girls......My cup runneth over with pride and admiration for Oldest.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

WHAT A HANDSOME BOY!!!! OH EDISON YOU MAKE MY HEART BEAT!!!




I have puppy fever again....and in a bad way. What is wrong with me???? When I had both dogs...I bitched nonstop about the grooming, the bathing...the never being able to get out of my chair for fear of loosing it to one of the dogs...Claude eating all the donuts that I just went and got the girls(not leaving them one), Claude eating 28 foil wrapped solid chocolate Easter Bunnies the day before the Easter party at school!!!!! Claude grabbing the WHOLE BAKED CHICKEN off of the counter at McHusbands grandparents house...and McHusband putting it back..telling me, as he pointed..not to eat that side!!!! Why in Giant Poodles do I want another dog? Why does my heart ache when I think about that big white bastard? Why do I long for another dog after swearing to GOD and EVERYONE....that never...not ever would I have 2 dogs again!!!!!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Cell Phones!!!!

Oldest must be the only 11yr old in the 70605 zip code that does not have a cell phone.....the other day I see a girl that she goes to school with..... an IPHONE...Seriously...an IPHONE. I have made it pretty clear how I feel about FACEBOOK...so this is how I feel about kids and cell phones. I think we are putting so much added pressure on our children....they have to keep up with a lunch bag, jacket, backpack, library books, school books, homework...so on and so on. Now we'll pile on the added pressure of keeping up with a $300 cell phone(not to mention the monthly service fee)...really? I am all about teaching my girls to be responsible....but that kind of responsibility is just a bit much.... Not to mention the texting the kids are doing....conversations can get lost in translation in texting....you can't hear a persons tone in a text...so they may be being a total smart ass but you think they are being mean...so then it spirals into this mean nasty text conversation for all to see...because now you can send it to whom ever you want to. It's no longer just a "He said, she said"....it's "Look what he said...she said"....(Yes, I totally speak from experience). Oldest has had a few bad experiences with the texting......she used to ask me for a cell phone every 3 1/2 minutes...but the word NO is really an awesomely powerful word and if said often enough....they do eventually hear it and stop asking. I have told Oldest...The day she gets a cell phone, will be the day I hand her keys to a car. Now when another one of her friend gets a phone she doesn't even care ......I have too many friends with children older than mine that have told me horror stories of texts that they have read, or the pictures that the kids are sending back and forth to one another and it HORRIFIES me...and I am not talking about the "sexting"...that is a whole other post.....

It seems as though I am the only one that feels this way....am I all alone? Should I cave to the pressures of Cell Phone Hell? I have heard every reason under the sun given to me...but I just can't justify it.

Friday, March 5, 2010

VIRGO

Horoscope for today:

You have more to offer than you realize and, if you partner with someone(McHusband) who has as much to contribute as you, there is no limit to what you can achieve. Take control of any conversation about future plans and you will end up in a power position.




That's right...hear me roar!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A Cheerleader??

My parents divorced when I was very young and my Mother worked very hard to support me and my sister. We moved a lot....so I didn't get involved in a lot of school activities because I was not going to be there long enough to participate....also I was always different than most of the girls I went to school with but I never had a difficult time making friends...I was friends with everyone, the Cheerleaders, the Rockers, the Nerds, the Jocks, The Dramas but I was different...but I was NEVER going to be a Cheerleader.....and in High School I was very Anti Establishment..you know a Rebel without a Cause!

McHusband and I have made it through some really difficult times in our 13yrs of marriage, but we are a great team. McHusband lived in the same house his entire childhood....where I lived in so many different parts of Houston....I'm not really sure where I am "from". McHusband, Oldest,Youngest and I have lived in the same house for 11yrs.....while that may not seem like something to you, it is HUGE for me. This is the longest time that I have ever lived anywhere. I went to five different Elementary Schools, three different Junior Highs and three different High Schools. I know that my parents did the best they could at raising my sister and I.....we never wanted for anything and we always lived in the nicest houses and went to the best schools....however because we moved so much I thought of people as disposable, never really getting to close to anyone....I didn't begin to cherish people until I married McHusband...and I didn't want to have children, I didn't think I would be a good enough mother....because quite honestly I never thought I was "Good" enough-period....Thankfully God blessed us with Oldest and Youngest....McHusband has grounded me and shown me that it's okay to plant myself..to grow roots and to really enjoy the FABULOUS people in our lives.

Oldest is in 6th Grade this year at a VERY overcrowded school....an awesome school with wonderful teachers.....but an overcrowded school. I wondered if she would find her voice or get lost in the shuffle...immediately she found her place, she tried out for a Recreational Cheer team and made it......my daughter is a Cheerleader? Really?

Now...it is time for the School tryouts for next year.....and I am still saying....My daughter a Cheerleader?? Really? My point is....I wonder, if I would have gone to the same Elementary for 6yrs and lived in the same house my whole life...would I have been a different person? Ya see...everyone says Oldest is me all over......I wonder if circumstances were different would I have been more like her...because I think she is AH-MAZING!!!(even when she is giving me all that attitude and I want to rip her head off)

Monday, March 1, 2010

FACEBOOK....is the new Drug




One of my best friends sent this to me a week or so ago. "M" and I are both fighting the FACEBOOK craze. I feel much like "M" does that if you are in my past you are there for a reason....because I put you there and I really could careless what you have been up to for the past 20 years..I don't care that your first marriage has failed, I don't care that you have FOUR babies from FOUR different DADDY's, I don't care that the Quarterback of the football team is now a Cross Dressing Drag Queen. I also believe that if we are such great friends you totally know what I've been up to and are completely aware of what's been going on in my world that I don't need to FACEBOOK. Up until this morning I haven't thought of sharing this .....until I got about 7 FACEBOOK requests this morning(totally flattered) but seriously...FACEBOOK is the new Drug.....and the peer pressure to be cool...everyone is doing it...like I didn't hear that when I was growing up...if I did everything my friends said was cool and totally fun and everyone was doing it....I would be on Intervention or Dr. Drew for sure...much like a drug if put in the wrong hands it can be destructive, bad and you just might never recover from it....I grew up in the 80's. We didn't have FACEBOOK, CellPhones, Computers to use for evil or good.....we used pen and pencil....3 way calling....it took awhile to spread a "virus" of ill thoughts and it rarely could follow you to a Job Interview. Now, it's a push of a send button...and poof you could potentially ruin someone FOREVER.

In theory FACEBOOK and other Social Networks are an awesome way to communicate...but in actuality they seem to do more damage than good....take for instant this common fight between a brother and a sister....in yester year this would have been a sister ratted on her brother for drinking and the brother would have waited....plotted his revenge and ratted her out to their parents....paybacks a mother right? Not now....now he has gone and posted her dirty little secret for everyone to read...and forward all across the world, now everyone knows that Brother is a drunk and hides beer in his room and Sister is a dirty little whore......point being...now it's in my little world. I emailed this FACEBOOK GONE WRONG to many of my friends...wanting to see what kind of response I got.....90% thought it was super funny, hillarious, LMAO funny. Yes, it is a little funny...however not so funny if it's you or your kids.

It seems to me that people have become so dependent on FACEBOOK and TEXTING that we cannot communicate without the use of TECHNOLOGY...I find myself falling into the TEXTING craze.....is texting like pot?????? Is it the gateway drug to FACEBOOK????? YIKES!!!!!!!